ten thousand years won't save your life
by ikuzonos
Summary: 'Naegi takes his own, and places it on top of her gloved one. Kirigiri looks at him in surprise, and he leans forwards, and kisses her on the forehead. She smiles, "I've missed this." "Me too," Naegi says, "Me too."' (Major Character Death, Naegiri, written before Kibou hen's release)


When he wakes up, the other side of the bed is cold. Naegi blearily blinks open his eyes, to see that the blanket and sheets on the other side are neat and tidy.

Kirigiri must already be up, he presumes, and slowly gets up. He's wearing the soft pajamas that she bought him for his birthday last year.

She's sitting at the table in their brightly lit kitchen, flipping through a newspaper. A steaming mug of coffee sits next to her.

"Morning, Kyouko," Naegi says gently, "What are you doing up so early?"

Kirigiri looks up at him and smiles, "Couldn't sleep. I've been thinking too much, lately."

Naegi sits down across from her, and nods, "I can't blame you. I keep having nightmares about that game… I'm just glad the Future Foundation gave us some time off after that."

"It would be cruel if they made us go back to work," Kirigiri says, "Nearly all the branch heads are dead, anyways."

Her hands are shaking.

Naegi takes his own, and places it on top of her gloved one. Kirigiri looks at him in surprise, and he leans forwards, and kisses her on the forehead.

She smiles, "I've missed this."

"Me too," Naegi says, "Me too."

He shuts his eyes for a moment, and when he opens them, Kirigiri is gone. Her newspaper and cup of coffee have vanished, and it's nearly pitch black in the kitchen.

Naegi's still wearing his suit. It's torn and bloody in places, and he doesn't think the sweat stains will ever come out. It's stuck to his skin in places, and he groans. Why does he wear it as pajamas now? As a sick reminder to himself?

Kyouko Kirigiri has been dead nine months, and he still wakes up every morning thinking that she'll be waiting for him.

According to the clock on the kitchen wall, it's three. Whether that's AM or PM, Naegi doesn't know, but he does know that there's no point in going into work today.

Despite the killing game taking place over half a year ago, the Future Foundation was still on rocky ground. New heads of each division had been appointed, but it could never be how it was before. The five survivors had been granted the gift of being able to skip any day of work, due to trauma from the game.

At first, none of them had taken up the offer, but as time went on, it became harder for them to prevent the psychological meltdowns that kept pushing at the back of their minds.

Naegi wakes up in his bed again, not remembering how he got there. His phone is beeping quietly, and he picks it up to see that Asahina has been texting him.

It's now six, (PM, according to this phone) and she wants everyone to try and meet up for dinner.

Naegi texts back that he can't make it, and rolls over on the bed, wishing that Kirigiri was still lying next to him.

* * *

The lights are on in his office when he walks in. A few people are milling about inside, and he smiles at them.

"Morning, Maizono-san," Naegi says to the blue haired girl who is spinning around in his chair.

"Naegi-kuuuuun!" Maizono says, his name drawn out by her spinning.

A chuckle from the side makes Naegi look over. Mukuro is standing next to his desk, smiling at Maizono.

He says, "How are you, Ikusaba-san?"

She replies, "Fine, I suppose. Sayaka's been spinning around all morning. I'm starting to get dizzy just by watching her."

Naegi laughs, and sets his bag down on his desk, then walks over to the person standing by his bookshelf. The man turns around and gives him a salute.

Naegi says, "Hi, Ishimaru-kun. Having a good morning?"

Ishimaru beams, "Yes! Naegi-kun, I have proofread your latest report, and it is riddled with errors! Please fix this at your earliest convenience!"

Naegi nods, "Which one is it?"

Ishimaru points to a binder on the shelf, and Naegi grabs it. As soon as he has it in his hands, his office is dark again, and the three are gone.

He swears that his chair is still spinning, though.

Munakata is drinking tea in his office, accompanied by Sakura and Celeste.

"Hi," Naegi says, and all three look over at him.

Sakura says, "Greetings, Naegi. Would you care to join us for tea?"

Celeste adds, "I think it would be nice if you did. It has been a long time since we have done so."

Munakata doesn't say anything, but Naegi isn't surprised. He's hardly spoken a word since the rescue brigade arrived nine months ago.

He sits down with the three, and makes polite conversation. Eventually, Naegi stands and says that he has to find Asahina, apparently she's down in the aircraft bay.

When he stands, he is alone in the room with Munakata.

Naegi leaves quickly, but as he does, the white haired man says, "I'll see you next week."

It's the most he's said to anyone in quite some time, Naegi thinks.

* * *

Leon and Mondo are on top of one of the planes when he arrives.

He chuckles at them, as they lean from side to side, pretending that they're pilots. Fujisaki is sitting on a crate nearby, watching them.

"Why aren't you up there?" Naegi asks curiously.

Fujisaki replies, "Fear of heights. Plus it's more fun to watch sometimes, y'know?"

They have a point, Naegi thinks, as he looks back up at the boys. Leon has his arms held out like he's on Titanic, and Mondo is gripping him from behind and laughing.

From behind them, Yamada says, "If Kuwata Leon-dono and Oowada Mondo-dono keep this up, they're going to fall."

"Oh, don't say that!" Fujisaki replies.

As if on cue, Leon slips, but Mondo grabs him, hoists him up, and ruffles his hair.

Yamada, Fujisaki, and Naegi sigh in relief.

"Hey, Naegi! What're you doing here?"

Naegi looks around, to see Asahina coming up to them. He calls out, "Togami-kun sent me. How're you?"

Asahina shrugs, "I'm okay, I guess. You look pretty pale, though."

Naegi blinks, and turns his head. The only other person in the carrier is the janitor.

He rubs the back of his neck and says, "I didn't sleep well last night."

Asahina sighs and nods, "You and me both. You and me both."

* * *

Back in his darkened office, Naegi grabs his bag. He's just about to leave, when something inside him twists, and he turns around slowly.

Junko is leaning against the doorframe, a nasty grin on her face, "Hey! It's been a while."

He scowls, "What do you want?"

She shrugs, and steps into his office, "Dunno. Being dead gets pretty boring after a while, so I thought I'd come and see how my dear friends are doing."

"We're not friends, Enoshima," Naegi spits, "You killed our classmates! You killed _my friends!_ "

Junko pouts, "Well, that's just unfair. I missed you guys, y'know!"

Tears burn in Naegi's eyes, "Get out!"

She grins, "Oh yeah, I've missed the look of despair on your face. It's no fun when you're hopeful!"

Naegi throws his bag at her face. She's gone before it hits the floor.

He slumps to the ground, and Kirigiri puts her hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay," she whispers, "She's gone."

Naegi chokes back a sob, "I don't understand. Why is this happening?"

Kirigiri says, "Survivor's guilt is a powerful thing. But you don't have to bear this weight alone."

"Thank you…" Naegi mumbles into her shoulder.

He leans against her, their hands entwined, and he wakes up crying in a heap at seven AM when the security guard shakes him from a painful sleep.

* * *

The bright lights of the hospital make him tired. But he promised himself that he'd come visit Sakakura, no matter what.

The man hasn't made a very good recovery, and it doesn't seem like he'll be leaving the hospital for a good long time.

"Hey," Sakakura says, "Why're you here?"

Naegi shrugs, and sits down by his side, "Couldn't leave you alone, today. Munakata-san is sick, and can't make it."

Sakakura coughs, "Figures… You don't have to lie, you can just say he doesn't wanna come visit."

Naegi doesn't know what's going on in Munakata's head, and refrains from answering. Instead, he asks, "Have… Have you ever had to live with survivor's guilt?"

Sakakura laughs, and then it turns into a raspy cough, "Every day of my goddamn life, kid. They haunt me, all of them. Yukizome keeps dusting all these machines, and I swear the nurse is Kimura half the time. They're not gonna leave me, not ever."

Naegi stares at him, quiet relief washing over his face, "I thought I was the only one…"

Sakakura snorts, "It's not just you and me. Asahina, Munakata, Mitarai, we're all gonna live with this fucked up shit in our heads forever. Those other friends of yours… Fukawa, Hagakure, and the one with the stick up his ass… They lived through some of the shit you did, and I can say that they aren't any better than you."

Bittersweet tears roll down Naegi's face, and he leans forwards to hug Sakakura, who protests quietly, but eventually gives in.

He lets go of the boxer eventually, and for a second, he swears that he sees Maizono smiling in the corner.

* * *

Kirigiri isn't waiting for him when he gets home. It's the first time in awhile that she hasn't been there, but Naegi can't bring himself to worry.

Deep down, he knows that the closest she's been to him in nine months was when he lowered her still, cold body into the earth, and covered her grave with seven feet of dirt.

He changes from his clean clothes into a pair of pajamas - a real pair, not his worn and bloody suit - and lies down under the quilt on their bed.

Naegi is careful not to disturb Kirigiri's side of the bed, it would be awful if he wrinkled up the sheets where she slept.

He shuts his eyes, and clings tightly to her hand, even though he knows it's just empty air that he's closed his fist around.

Ten thousand years won't save her life, and ten thousand lives with her won't be enough to make up for this one. Her silence is the loudest sound he's ever heard, and he desperately holds onto it, as if that will restart her heart, and bring her back.

He'll wake up alone again, and he'll shed a tear or ten when he realizes that Kirigiri's not in the other room, not sipping hot coffee like nothing has changed.

But then he'll text Asahina, or Togami or Hagakure or Munakata or Sakakura. And then they'll talk.

And he will breathe.


End file.
